Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Where in the World Is A Boy in Heels?

Oh my little opossums, how I have missed you!

I know, I know what is my excuse? Well, it is a combination of laziness and over exhaustion stemming from my extensive work life. Now, I am jobless, well rested, and have full attention to give to my little munchkin readers! I hope that I am finding you in good health and in a positive state of mind, and that you are not sitting in your apartment eating chocolate cake icing and wallowing in self pity; hopefully that existence is meant only for me.

In my absence I have since left Hilton Head Island and returned to Los Angeles, founded a sorority, started online dating, witnessed a super natural experience, made love to a Purple Cowboy, passed out in a garden wearing tight jeans and my glitter shoes, discovered contraband in my own household, performed multiple bodily functions at once (due to excessive dark liquor intake), won a Halloween costume contest, made many a new friend, made out with a man more than twice my age who conveniently works as a church administrator, invented new words, gotten a blow out, and picked up a new hobby.

These are not all going to be listed right here and now, because A) what fun would it be if I gave it all away at once, and B) I am too exhausted from eating so much Pillsbury icing and left over lasagna to complete English sentences, and may start into jibberish soon.

I love all of you, so so much. I can’t believe that you are so good to me, and I have neglected you since August 15th? Who the hell do I think I am?
A heart full of glitter scented love to you all.

Until Tomorrow, William xox

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