Tonight I decided I needed a drink after work. It was a long day, and I was tense and I thought I would relax. However, I have been really upset with my eating habits and I didn't want to over do it with the extra calories that alcohol provides, so I decided in the best interest of my curvy figure, and my heart, I would only have a glass of red wine. Well, that one glass came and went. And by God and Sweet Sonny Jesus, I wanted another. My brain kept screaming at me to not do it, that I didn't need it, but my hand started going towards the bottle. Then, genius struck me. I decided that if I were to have another drink it should be a healthier version, so why not make a wine smoothie? This, was where I went wrong. I don't really make smoothies that often, in fact, ever. So I had to kind of improvise with what I had in my fridge, and let my own creative concoction take it's course from there. All I had were bananas, ice cubes, and grapes. The grapes were looking kind of puny, but I threw them anyway. Let me explain opossums, this was the worst idea I have had in a while. And I often have bad ideas (let us reference when I decided to save time and Nair my face because I didn't feel like spending time shaving), but this was RANCID.
A. Don't ever think that green grapes and bananas are ever going to taste good together. They don't.
B. Wine should only come in one form, in a wine glass, straight, no added flavors or ingredients, or else you will regret it.
C. If anyone ever tries convince you that there is a healthier form of preparing an alcoholic beverage, kick them in the shins and slap them in the throat, and tell them to give you the regular version. The extra 12 calories aren't going to kill you.
After tasting this horrid mixture I immediately tossed it in the sink, and had to consume the rest of the wine to make the potent taste disappear. In result, my little lambchops, in attempts to watch my weight, I ended up getting completely tipsy... Alas, the price you pay when you try to count your calories.
Goodnight Opossums. xox
William
In defense of the wine-smoothie concept, On The Border used to have a frozen sangria that was fabulous. Of course, they don't anymore, so maybe I was the only one who liked it. I do think though, that with the exception of Sangria, wine-smoothies fall under the "don't try this at home" category.
ReplyDeleteIf you wanted sangria, you could've covered the flavour with *lots* of tequila.
ReplyDeleteBut more importantly, how did Nair-ing your face turn out? I have always felt a powerful desire to chemically retard my facial hair.